The first few months post diagnosis were used to get myself back to being, well, myself. I was so far off from who I used to be after all the mayhem that I needed a month of recovery in my house and even after that I still didn't feel like doing much of anything once I moved back to the city. I felt different, alone, restricted, and even more OCD and neurotic than I could have ever imagined, even for me. I had a hard time explaining to people how I felt and would end up feeling bitter towards those closest to me. I was forced to wake up each morning for the morning dose of Lantus and remember to give the second half in the evening. Eating was always a question, should I round up or round down? Starting a new program in school was scary enough but to bring all my new gadgets and figure out when it was time to start pricking in front of my new friends for the next 5 years was a looming question in my mind. It was no surprise though that my classmates are so caring and understanding. After all, we're gonna be psychologists. The first day of school S.E. brought it right up, eliminating any possible discomfort on my end and told me to tell her everything about it and she would be there if I needed anything. We just became friends, but she couldn't have made me feel more at ease. Eventually, school was safe. I mastered it. Checking, shooting up, and eating based on my classes and schedule. I had heard that at times of stress the blood sugar would spike and I definitely got to experience that. Right before bed the night before a final I checked my blood sugar, 267. Screw it, I'm going to sleep. I woke up, took my final, and was back to my low 100's again. I began mastering Shabbas, exercise, and even going out as well. I was pretty impressed with myself. AND I knew it was only going to get easier..
My family and I made the decision to go on the Insulin pump over my winter vacation. This way I would have time to adjust before I start classes again. My diabetes educator definitely minimized the whole adjustment, but I guess she just doesn't know me that well. For those of you that do- I take time adjusting to any new situation and I knew I would need ample time to adapt to this. So after, my first semester in graduate school and 5 months as a Type 1 diabetic, I was ready to begin the pump.
Last Wednesday I arrived at Mt. Sinai hospital at 8 AM to meet K for the insertion of a sensor on my lower back. This would measure my blood sugar every ten seconds for the next 6 days, creating a better picture of my trends, highs and lows, and the effects of other variables on my blood sugar. I felt like a robot having a chip inserted, and I felt like I was being watched, like I needed to be extra good because everything is being seriously documented. The whole procedure took 30 minutes and I was home by 9 AM. I went about my day until 1 PM when B arrived for my first Omnipod training session. We sat for about 2 hours while we went through the different settings and functions of the Omnipod, most of which I knew already because I obviously did my due diligence. The draw to the Omnipod for those of you not fluent in diabetes jargon and pump talk is the lack of tubing. Other pumps (Animus, Minimed - google them), have tubes attached to the insertion point that then connect to a beeper looking thing. I've seen this kind on the majority of people I know with diabetes but I'm not one for tubing. K, the woman who inserted my sensor works for one of the tubing pump companies and was doing her best to sell me on it that Wednesday morning, telling me I can hide the beeper in my bra! No thanks, I'm going with the pod for now. ANYWAYS - After 2 hours of training, we applied my first pod filled with saline for a practice week. This was done about ten minutes before B left. "Are you ok? Are you overwhelmed?", she asked me before she left. Nope, I'm totally good. Ya Right.
Bye B! (Bawling E.D.)
"So, it's always there. Just sitting there. Should I just always wear a sweat shirt? Then it really won't show. I chose this one because it has no tubes but it's still this thing sitting on my stomach, showing through my clothes. I don't want this anymore. I'll keep the shots. I wasn't fed up enough to be doing this. The shots were fine and I can live with it. Don't tell me it's not that bad and don't tell me it's not a big deal. You don't have to wear it."
Was what I said all Wednesday.
Thursday was a bit more positive. I kind of ignored it. I went through the motions. I pretended it was real. Decreased my basal when I exercised and extended my bolus when I was at a long Friday night meal. (Look up the lingo). This wasn't so bad. It was actually kind of cool. Come Sunday night, J and I were sitting down to enjoy huge Bloomingdales Froyos, which by the way I was able to figure out exactly how many carbs were in it thanks to my Omnipod, and I almost forgot to give my shot, I was getting so used to this pump thing. So this is me. I freak out, I figure it out, and I'm good. And to those of you who have to hear me freak out, you know who you are- thank you and I'm sorry all at the same time.
So today was the day. B arrived at 9 AM. Together we filled the pod with insulin and I applied it. It's not pumping my basal yet since I still gave my Lantus last night but later today it will begin. I'm feeling excited. I'm pumped. And J is pumped that I'm pumped. We're gonna pump it up.
And just so you can have a better picture:
But don't tell me it's not that bad. Just notice the super cool blackberry looking controller.
"this ring is israel."
ReplyDelete"this omnipod is futuristic."
ur a TOTAL trooper milady! you amaze me!
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