I heard it's better to be high than low..

.... were the words of a good friend trying to make me laugh before I headed out to a Phish concert, my first outing without one of my parents or siblings since I had been home.  I was phreaking out.  I was all packed up, my meter, test strips, Novolog, Lantus, sandwich, snacks.  However, it turned into one of the most anxious experiences thus far.  For those of you who have never been to one of these shows, well do some research. My dad ended up picking me up in the middle of the show.  Nothing bad happened, I guess it just didn't feel like the most conducive atmosphere at the moment.  Thoughts were racing through my head... would I ever be able to go to a concert again?  Each time my sister and I went to Lord and Taylor or to the supermarket, I would make her drive for fear that I would go low in the middle of the outing.  I was still learning what the signs of a low blood sugar were and would often realize too late, stuffing glucose tablets in my mouth to stop the shaking.  It seemed like this was just the way it would be, waiting for the low to come on, treating them, and getting on with the day.  But no, that didn't seem normal.  After speaking up to the "team", my Lantus dose was decreased and my Insulin:Carb Ratio was down to 1:20.  Rosh Hashanah came and we finally found the right dose! 4 units in the AM, 5 at night.  While it was nice to eliminate the frequent hypoglycemic episodes, I was now having to wake up each morning for a shot and having to remember each evening to give the rest of the dose.  But I was finally starting to feel better, which made it all worth it.

Moving back to the city and beginning school/work was overwhelming but surprisingly doable.  After my first low in the middle of class, I realized how easily treatable and manageable it would be.  Three glucose tabs, 1..2..3........30.... I'm not shaking anymore.  What if it happens in the middle of an exam?  Don't think about it right now, I'd say to myself.  Each new experience comes and gets handled appropriately and I am realizing that I am able to tackle anything that gets in my way.  The transition back to my apartment was difficult but with two great roommates and lots of friends eager to learn and help made it much easier.  People were putting me in touch with others with diabetes, support groups, and resources to help me in the process.  Each time I would speak to someone that shared in my experience I would find myself feeling better, stronger, and optimistic.  One group in particular that has been especially helpful and I will continue to utilize has been an organization started by a group of girls with Type 1 Diabetes a few years ago.  They hold meetings, online support groups, and planned events so check them out:
act1diabetes.org
This really is manageable.  Good days are great, bad days suck, but overall I'm seeing that it IS going to be ok.  I even went to a Phish concert this month, brought my shots, stayed til the very very end, and had a great time.  You think I sound excited now?  Wait until tomorrow, I'm gonna be totally pumped.